With Ruthless Inefficiency
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "With Ruthless Inefficiency" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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02:25 am
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Stuff
Awesome SNL skit. NSFW
I wrote a song today about the pull between searching for answers in and about the past while living in the present. It's called The Pull, and I've just written a lot of the words that appear in it. I think I'd like to explore this a bit more. I haven't been able to write the kind of songs I used to in a long time, and I think it's because I've been trying to write about things like revenge. I have a very particular "code of honor" that's not terribly difficult for another person to violate, and whereas I can forgive most stuff, a select few incidents stand out in my head that I will never forget and probably never forgive. Heartache brought on by a woman was the source of my songs back in the day, I think my new muse is this. I'm curious about how it will play out because I'm not a fan of much hard music.
Time will tell, I guess. Anyway, here are the lyrics:
The Pull
Searching, wondering
Do I have the answer?
Exploring, wandering
Tell me something I don't know
C Here I am lost in my own head but I can't stay here
I feel the pull drag me to reality... Will I ever know?
Will I ever know?
Moving forward
Leave it in the past
Looking backward
What more can I ask? C
I fought hard, I worked hard, to get down this far
I can't let go, it won't let go, the pull could tear me apart
It needs polished a bit. I'm not quite happy with the rhythm, but it's a good start. OK, time for bed. Catch you later
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09:56 am
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Saturday, November 13, 2010
This is our wedding day. It will be in Rowlesburg, tentatively. More details forthcoming as they become available.
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01:07 am
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Joshweek turned 10 on the 30th
How many of you remember receiving those old emails? A better question, I guess, is how many people read this incarnation of it? Haha, anyway, I thought I'd drop a line in the old tradition to let everyone know what's been up with me. For the two months since I've posted.
Also, for those interested, here are my original Joshweeks. Yeah, I know there's a huge gap between June '03 and September '05.
First and foremost, I was recently promoted to manager at Fox's! The way it's working now, I work three managing shifts a week and I drive Friday day shift. One is a 10-4 on Saturday and the other two are open to close (10-10 typically). They had been Monday and Tuesday, but this week I have Monday off instead of Wednesday. I found that out this morning when I showed up because I assumed I worked today. That was kinda nice, because I was ready to get stuff done, and there's stuff I've been needing to do. I don't typically like to do anything on my days off.
Lindsay and I had engagement photos taken a while back, too. I wasn't keen on the idea. Wouldn't it be enough to go get our picture taken once? Apparently not. It was an all-day event in Rowlesburg. I survived, so I guess it wasn't that bad. If you are friends with me on Facebook, then you've probably already seen these. If not, get Facebook! I'm on Facebook almost every day-- unless I'm working all day.
OK, I wrote this about 5 days ago. I don't really want to finish it right now because I have something else on my mind which gets a locked post. Don't worry Lindsay, it's not about you :)
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02:16 pm
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Stableford
Beatles Rock Band: +1
Mad Catz's split-strummer bass for Rock Band: +2
YouTube Allowing me to watch the following:
Roger Federer's sick shot, Kanye West in his douchy glory, Serena Williams' meltdown, Santana Moss getting pwnt, Michael Jordan's HoF speech: +5
Lindsay getting her car back today after getting rear-ended two weeks ago: +1
Lindsay not being substantially hurt in said accident: +10
Walking to Anthony Chevrolet to get it: -1
Having today off to do that: +1
Having to give back the PT cruiser rental: -1
Working at Fox's Pizza Den: +1
My transmission probably dying soon: -8
Lindsay coming home from a wedding expo with a bunch of expensive ideas for our wedding: -2
Winning a bunch of swag because she registered for it at said expo: +1
Regularly running tournaments with more than 8 people at Sal's: +1
Possibly having that interfere with getting as many hours as I can at work: push
Being well compensated for running said tournaments: +3
Having friends over Sunday to chill and play Beatles Rock Band: +5
It's time to start planning the next Dinner Dance!: +2
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS- 1 down, 18 to go: +1
Seasons of The Office and Dexter on DVD: +2
November 14, 2010: +100
Being Josh Sherman: +infinity
I win.
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05:56 pm
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I should be posting more.
I've put in nearly 50 hours at work this week. Unfortunately, there's no overtime involved. How'd I manage that? I got another job. After working to 10 days at IHOP, I made my triumphant return to Fox's Pizza Den. You've been put on notice: The Delivery Assassin is back!
That's all for now. More to come later.
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09:21 am
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At last, the circle is complete
Twenty-eight years. That's how long it takes our calender to hit every possible day of the week for every day of the year 1 time for February 29 and 4 times for every other date. I have completed a full Gregorian Cycle. More on this later I think. I have stuff to do right now. Catch you later,
P.S. The date deserves its own post and will get one soon :)
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01:08 pm
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More news I neglected to mention forever...
10 year high school reunion today. I'm still not sure what to think about it. Lindsay and I both got today off, so we're going to go. Food, beer, and a live band. I hope the band doesn't suck (or equivalently play country). There are several people I'm looking forward to seeing, many more people I'm neutral toward, and one to two I want to completely avoid. And a whole lot of people I didn't really know 10 years ago. Success should ensue.
Also, we picked a date for the wedding.
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02:16 pm
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I got a job!
I've put in several applications, but have really had nothing come up. I felt like I had exceedingly few options, and even less time to get a job, so I pulled a favor from my step-father. Starting Wednesday, I will be working at IHOP five days a week (usually Wed-Sun) day shift. I'm guaranteed 40 hours a week and can likely pick up overtime.
I know this is dangerous territory. The thing I'm worried about most is letting Jimmy down because he gave me this job. I had an in depth conversation about this with Jimmy last night (I'm going to have to get used to calling him Jim at work, lol). The tasks of the job won't be difficult. The volume could get to me, but I've handled that before. That leaves co-workers as my main obstacle, because sometimes I don't play well with others.
I also owe my readers an explanation on why I don't have a job. I don't want to get specific about it, but I was very close to being let go, and I sensed that, so I put my two weeks notice in. The next day, I was let go. Why, you ask? Well, there was no real middle ground with me (in my mind, at least). I was really good at the parts of the job I was good at, and really bad at the parts I wasn't good at. I can understand why that's not desirable in an employee.
I got paid through my notice and with my vacation and sick time, I received better than a full paycheck on 7/2 and have made a little bit of money donating plasma since. We're still fine, and I'm going to get a paycheck with about 28 hours on it on 8/24. After that, I will receive weekly paychecks again. I'm kinda excited about that. I really liked that about Pizza Hut. IHOP also does tip-outs, so I will receive a bit of cash that I can stick in my pocket on top of my check. I like that too. Wish me luck!
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12:39 am
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You wanted it, you got it
Not one, but two photo albums. 15 files packed with kick-your-ass goodness!
The Proposal
Josh Sherman: Hero to Babies Everywhere
Apologies to those who hang on my every word on Facebook. My notes are imported from LiveJournal, and you already had access to these galleries.
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12:43 am
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Three More Cool Stories
Take me out to the ballgame!
Lindsay and I were here today. We'll be at the same place tomorrow. We would have done more awesome stuff today, but we ran a little late getting to Baltimore.
Stone Cold Rock Hard Josh Sherman
We had the usual "running a few minutes late" deal, which I naturally made up for with my lead foot. We stopped at Sideling Hill to check out the scenery. As we were leaving, Lindsay overheard a couple women say "should we ask them," referring to us. As we passed, they were talking about having locked their keys in their car. It's always crappy to do that, but especially when you're nowhere near anyone who can help. But there was another factor at work here: there was a baby in the car.
Let me repeat that- there was a baby locked in a car. They were freaking out a bit and didn't really know what to do. I asked how long she'd been locked in there (about 5 minutes). They had called 911 and they said they'd be along in 5 minutes. 15 minutes later, they arrived, finding a shattered window courtesy of yours truly. Naturally, I cleaned out my car last night and didn't have a coat hanger or a baseball bat. I've never felt like such a moron for cleaning something.
I did have my toolbox, however. A rubber mallet (the one I owe Ken, perhaps?), a screwdriver, and a wrench were available, none of which were sufficient. An older gentleman found a large rock, and started banging on the window. He wasn't able to bust the window, so after a little while he handed the rock to me to see if I could do anything. I whacked it pretty hard a couple of times, but realized I just wasn't doing it hard enough. The third time I let fly like nobody's business. When all was said and done, the baby was safe, and I had managed to slice my arm in no less than 10 different places. Don't worry about me, it was all superficial. I have photographic evidence to back this story up, as well as the next one.
Just Say Yes
This story really needs told photographically, so I won't go into details right now. I will say that as of this afternoon, Lindsay and I are engaged. You heard me, engaged. Throughout the course of a day I pop both boners and Cristal pretty regularly, but The Question is a once-whoops, twice-in-a-lifetime thing for me. She is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and she feels the same way. Of course, if I can't imagine how one would live without oneself, but whatever...
The "pics or it didn't happen crowd" will have to cool their jets for a day or two.
Catch you later
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08:05 pm
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Um... surprise
I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this here, but Lindsay and I have tickets for two baseball games this weekend- both in Baltimore with the Red Sox in town! We're leaving tomorrow morning and will be back Sunday night. I kept meaning to mention it, but then kept forgetting to. Anyway, we're going to get parking early both days and walk around Baltimore while trying not to get mugged. Wish us luck! If you need to get ahold of either of us, we will have cell phones.
As an upside to this, it's proof that I can save money. I've been saving to make sure we can do this even though I'm unemployed. Speaking of which, I need a job. Also, tune in over the weekend to see if I nab any autographs of foul balls, or just post for the hell of it.
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01:59 am
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This is me complaining. Feel free to skip.
Is it weird that to me, not having a job at all is literally the same as having a job I can't live comfortably on? I keep hearing friends and family talk about the probability that I could get a "good job" with some company I most likely don't want to work for. And I understand that the only valid response to this post is "It doesn't matter. You need a job." Please, if you say anything at all, say something else.
I have zero confidence in my degree and its usefulness. I have zero confidence in my ability to give an interview. At this moment, I basically have no confidence at all and find it easier to slip further down into anything other than being productive. I have to pull myself out if it, if not for myself, then for Lindsay. But if I don't believe that I can, I'm not going to.
These are the times I'm not so sure I like being me. Why should I complain? First of all, I brought this on myself. Secondly, I know what I have to do. I don't need advice because I already know what the advice will be. I don't need to hear it, and I don't want to. It gets so lonely sometimes, believing that I have all the answers. Telling me things I already know is an insult to my intelligence. The previous sentence may be the one thing in the world I'm not sure how to deal with.
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01:02 am
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We'll start with the fun stuff
Tonight, I present four stories for your approval. So get to it!
Sorry, Wrong Number
After my phone line was reconnected (which I'll talk about later), the first two phone calls I received were wrong numbers. Awesome. The second one, however, was from a person who has called several times before, each time looking for someone named Jim. I thought for sure I had talked to him before and told him he had the wrong number, but whatever. I struck up a small conversation with him, and it turns out that he's a recruiter. He wanted Jim for a tech writer position in the Fairmont area. He asked me if I was looking for a job in the IT field. I asked how one out of two was, and gave him my email address. I'm in the process of updating my resume and sending it to him. In all likelihood, nothing will come of it, but why not give it a shot?
Yellow Light
On my way to donate plasma the other day, I noticed that my gas tank was on fumes. I stopped at the Go-Mart in Bridgeport, then made my way up the hill adjacent to I-79. I got stopped at the light back around the entrance to USA Steak Buffet. There was an SUV that wanted to turn into my lane (I was in the left lane of 2). I let the person in front of me because it was the nice thing to do. The person behind me actually had the nerve to honk at me and throw her arms up in the air. At first, I was like "whatever," but then I got to the light. It was yellow. I jetted through it and left the person behind me at the light. Then it hit me. That. Was. HILARIOUS! I'll never know what gives people the stones to act like that.
The Rundown
In the past month, due to various events, we've doing a lot of driving back and forth from Rowlesburg/ Kingwood. Unfortunately, there's no CFH (critter-free highway) in the area. Have I mentioned before that I like to roll my windows down and berate animals that stand around in the road? If not, there you go. Anyway, I was moving at a decent clip one night when I spotted a deer in the road. I had plenty of time to brake, so I stopped. Then I honked my horn. This deer did not want to move! I was at the point where I just started going again. Screw it, I figured. I'm not going fast, so if I hit the damn thing, I'll just scare it. Well, it worked, and the deer ran- straight down the road! Apparently this one felt it had just as much right to the road as I did. It was wrong. Dead wrong.
Did I make you think I killed it? I didn't. Eventually, after following it honking my horn, it turned off the road. The next night, the same damn thing happened with a rabbit! As it was getting closer to bottom of my windshield, I decided to be benevolent and spare its life. The crunching sound would probably make me sick, anyway.
Instinct
I rue the day I need to get more deodorant. It means I have to brave one of the most offensive aisles (to the olfactory, anyway) at the store. Unfortunately, Friday was one of those days. My major qualifications are as follows: the scent must 1) not be too strong and 2) smell better than my b.o. Sounds easy, right? Not for someone as picky as me. I'm sure you've been following me on here (or in person) for years, and you know I won't wear cologne and generally despise "smelly" things. Anyway, I've used Axe since it came out and I discovered the line called "Touch." It was just right for me. And Wal-Mart was out.
So, now I'm standing around one of my least favorite aisles looking like an asshat smelling different deodorants. My decision came down to two, and I chose Instinct. After making my choice, I noticed that my new deodorant is infused with the "scent of rare leathers."
Double-you. Tee. Eff. Rare leathers? What does that even mean? How does "rare" have any context? I play Magic, so I know about rares. I get one per pack. I collect other things, too, and am very aware of their concepts of rarity. How did Axe procure enough "rare leather" to infuse the entire Instinct line with it? Hint: if they could do that, IT'S NOT RARE! Otherwise, it's ridiculous borderline-false advertising. It's this sort of ludicrous marketing that gives the profession a bad name.
All this because unlike Baskin Robbins, Axe doesn't have 31 flavors...
Catch you later
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12:30 am
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4000 pounds of stuff
This has been one hell of a busy three weeks. I don't have time to expound at the moment, so I'm going to post these notes so you at least know (or have a vague idea of) what's been going on, not necessarily in chronological order.
- Lindsay's grandmother passed away
- I'm unemployed
- Wave 1
- funny stories about 1) a recruiter, 2) some jackass behind me and 3) the deer I almost ran down
- No phone? No satellite? No problem. I can fix it!
- My descent into oblivion
- Michael Jackson
That should do it. No clue when I'll get a chance to talk about this stuff. I'll figure it out or something. Catch you later
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08:04 pm
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Tale of the Destructifier (condensed)
I told myself once upon a time that I would stop making posts like this one. I'm breaking my rule because on this day, June 4, in 1999, I graduated from high school. And my journey to awesomeness began thusly. It's hard to say when I got there. I've shown flashes of sheer brilliance here and there, but when did I begin to sustain that which is awesome?
I could consider the last time I failed miserably. Not the last time I was miserable because I failed, but a failure of proportions so epic that it literally changed everything. This was three years ago (not two- I don't think of that failure as mine). I let what I thought was "real life" get in the way of something extremely important to me. And some very bad things happened because I wasn't in a position to stop them. Realistically, could I have stopped them if I was there? Absolutely.
In the wake of this upheaval, I arose from the ashes as The Destructifier. The time of destructification have since passed, though only because the mortal emenies of my ideal no longer stand. I have survived and outlasted them all. I will endure. I will not fail you again.
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07:59 am
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Six things I forgot yesterday.
1) I am hooked on Oblivion. I'm going to be a master alchemist soon, and I'm a journeyman at speechcraft, which isn't even part of my skill set (I talk to a lot of people).
2) My second attempt at jambalaya was a huge success! I found andouille sausage at Shop N Save and bought some more crayfish (why is that a correct spelling and Firefox i telling me "crawfish" isn't? the package said "craw") tail meat from Wal-Mart. It was very good, and very easy to make.
3) My satellite service is on the fritz. I have no idea what's wrong with it. I first noticed it Friday night when I realized that it wasn't recording Leno's final Tonight Show episode. At this rate, I'm probably going to miss Conan's debut tomorrow, too. There's a really strange incessant beeping coming from my entertainment center, too. I wonder if they're related...
4) I had this really weird dream that unsettled me enough to get up this early. In it, I went to the Magic Pro Tour Qualifier that was held in Pittsburgh yesterday. Everybody was acting like assholes to me, but that wasn't the bad part. I apparently won my round one in some way I can't recall. Round two, which took forever to start, put me at table 13. My opp didn't show up until about two minutes left in the grace period, so she should have lost game 1 automatically.
When I called a judge over about that, he said to wait a couple more minutes. I tried to call someone else over but they wouldn't listen. I called them again and the judge made a mean comment about it. Then I said, loudly "With all due respect, if you'd do your job in the first place, I wouldn't have to call you over so much." I was also thinking that I do in fact know the rules of a tournament because I have judged large events before, even though she wa implying that I do not.
I got paired against this girl who was really snarky. Everything I said was stupid to her. Blah, blah this, blah blah that. She finally made a joke that was not at my expense, and it was genuinely funny. I pointed that out to her and she started railing on me again. Anyway,
When I was shuffling my deck, I noticed some empty sleeves. I thought "oh, crap..." then counted my deck, and sure enough, it wasn't 60 cards like it should have been. I was extremely pissed off at that point. I scooped and walked outside, wondering how I could have been so dumb to do that. Outside, I remembered that I lent my deck to a friend for yesterday, so I didn't have a completed deck. So wtf was I doing there in the first place? No idea.
In reality, I lent the deck I was going to play to a friend at Sal's on Friday. Well, most of it. There were a couple cards I didn't have, and some I should have had but still didn't. I'm a little upset about the latter. I lent them for Regionals two weeks ago and still don't have them back. I hope John found all the cards he needed.
5) There's an OB/GYN in Fairmont whose real last name is Holehouse.
6) Knock, knock.
*you* Who's there
I eat mop.
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04:47 pm
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The song was a hit, btw.
I've had some thoughts lately:
Yuengling in West Virginia? Oh Yeah.
Here are some newer songs I like a lot:
Theory of a Dead Man -I Hate My Life
311- Hey You
Cage the Elephant -Ain't No Rest For the Wicked
Papa Roach -Lifeline
I like "I Hate My Life" not because I do, but a few of the things in there ring sorta true with me (hating everyone till the bitter end, eg). I'm actually not of a fan in general of "life sucks" tye of music- I'm more of a stfu and deal with it kind guy- but it's catchy. Also, I semi-apologize for the rickroll. I was going to link to the video, however a perfunctory search of Papa Roach's YouTube page didn't produce it. So you get the next best thing.
Watching Star Trek made me want to listen to more Beastie Boys. How awesome was Star Trek, by the way? Super-fuckin' awesome, that's how.
On a side note, did watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine (specifically Will.i.am's role) make you want one of these?
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03:00 pm
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You Get Me
YOU GET ME
There's so much stuff I don't know
About living on my own
So much knowledge that I don't have
How am I supposed to be a man?
I don't like it when things don't go my way
I stole a pager for your birthday
Then for our 2-year I stole a wine glass
I can be a major pain in the ass
But I'm not the only one
Who finds what I do fun
Because even when you're mad
I know I can always make you laugh
You get me
You know my heart is true
Yeah, you get me
And I know I get you too
I'm not very good with money
I talk trash when I'm playing rummy
Sometimes I drive like a maniac
I have claw marks on my door to prove that
My jokes are hit amd miss
Unless you like to look at this
I make the worst puns you've ever heard
"Vodka martini, shaken not stirred"
But I'm not the only one
Who finds what I do fun
Because even when you're mad
I know I can always make you laugh
(saxophone solo)
You get me
You know my heart is true
Yeah, you get me
And I know I get you too
I know people wonder why
You still put up with me
But if they saw my huge penis
Then surely they'd agree
You get me
You know my heart is true
Yeah, you get me
And I know I get you too
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02:46 pm
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So this happened two months ago...
Lindsay and I decided to spend the 13th together because V-Day itself would be packed full of stuff (I had to work the morning, for one, plus the Dinner Dance.) We went up to Morgantown to eat at The Olive Garden. One of these days, we're going to go up there and get the all-you-can-eat the soup and salad lunch. It's $6.95 apiece. Not too shabby if you ask me. Anyway, after lunch ,we continued up the hill. We stopped at Best Buy to look around. Well, she thought we were looking around. This was my Valentine's Day surprise for her- we were going to get a flat screen TV!
I really wanted to just check out the TVs and when an employee came up to us, I'd say "I'll take this one." I know it would have knocked her socks off. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that when your girlfriend works in the electronics department for a competitor. She knows a lot about TVs, so I had to let the cat out of the bag early. Then, of course, we had to go check out said competitor's pricing.
I wasn't impressed with that other place's selection of TVs or their prices. Lindsay swears by Vizio, but she's the only person I've ever heard say good things about them. Has anyone that bought a Vizio said anything good about them? Then we checked out Sam's Club. The particular store we were at is managed by the same woman that ran the Fairmont store. I don't like her, but was fortunate enough to not run into her. I did run into some other people I could take or leave. But whatever. It's been 6 years since I worked there. Those people probably don't remember me. Or if they do, the first thing they'll ask about is my wife. Awesome. In the end, I decided to buy the TV at Best Buy, and I knew the one I was going to get: a Samsung 40" with 30000:1 contrast ratio, 1080i (or is it p?), and some other numbers I don't remember. It was on sale for around $900.
Of course, since I'm getting an HDTV, I need to get a newer generation DVD player, right? If I don't, my DVDs will look crappy. At least, that's the "excuse" Lindsay gave me. But I knew better. It was a very poorly veiled "Honey, buy me a PS3." In the interest of full disclosure, she staunchly denies this, and I'm probably fabricating at least some of it. The end result is the same: I blew almost 2 grand at Best Buy on a TV, a PS3, and some other stuff. No interest for 18 months is a good thing.
A second post with more stuff and maybe a picture or two may be coming later. After all, I need to cover Lindsay's birthday (today) and our 2-year anniversary (yesterday). What follows immediately is a song I've written for the occasions. Well, the lyrics, anyway. Catch you later
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10:21 pm
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And eleven days later...
I'm back! Complete with a new address, and some fancy swag. No time to talk about it now, but I will soon.
Candi, I haven't forgotten about Dexter. I'll try to get them to you by this weekend.
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