Today is Lindsay's birthday. She is 24. At 24, I was working at Pizza Hit and married to someone else. And I took that year off from Kappa Kappa Psi, too. What a dumb idea that was. Speaking of Kappa Kappa Psi, if you didn't see it on Facebook, I posted a picture of my induction certificate. It's dated for April 7, 2002. That means I've spent nearly a third of my life as a brother of Kappa Kappa Psi. It's weird though, like I didn't find my stride until I didn't need to anymore. And now I'm awesome and I have most of the answers, but I don't get asked the questions. I hit the sweet spot in he 2006-7 year, the year I met and ultimately fell for Lindsay. Speaking of her...
I may not have done the best job of advertising for her party (I thought I did fine), but hardly anyone showed up. What a crock! There were things I had to do that I decided to leave out because it was like a damn ghost town! Way to be there for your friend on her birthday. I bet all those Facebook posts on her wall are going to make up for the fact that you weren't there Saturday. Oh, wai--
And you know what? You didn't just snub her, you snubbed me too. Know why? Because SHE'S MY WIFE! Well, that and because I'm the one that put the party together. I made all the damn food, and I set up the decorations. Dave Allen helped me out a ton with preparations and I really appreciate that, and I appreciate him. We're kind of kindred spirits, I think, in that "do what needs done" is hardwired into us... it's not something to bitch and moan about, It needs done, fucking DO IT!
Sorry if this is a little incoherent. Actually I'm not. I have to keep typing or I'm going to flame out and be all like "I shouldn't post this..." but I'm going to tonight. I'm not going to get all drama queen on you and be like "well if you were real friends, you'd have been at the party," because that's bullshit. But would it have killed you to say "sorry I can't make it. I hope everyone has a good time!:)"? Having that thought led me to wonder if I had done that with a Facebook event. To my recollection I haven't. If I can't go to something that the invitee actually has cause to think I will go to, I post that I can't be there, even if I don't say why. Because why you can't be there doesn't matter, just like why you weren't at Lindsay's party doesn't matter. You still weren't there. And yeah, I know there could be extenuating circumstances, but most people have an EXTREMELY lax idea of what those situations could be compared to me. BOO HOO I don't feel good. Suck it up. Do you have any idea how many times I haven't felt good but I was still there for you? Reciprocity. I don't forget.
By the way, I don't want any replies to this post talking about why you weren't at the party. Message Lindsay if you're that worried about saving face. Point being, don't come onto my page and try to defend yourself when I've already said you have no defense. I'm not naming names, and if you want to talk PRIVATELY or in person, I will be glad to. Holy crap, look at the wall of text I've typed...
I think I want to own my own pizza shop. I have ideas all the time that I think are good ones. I watch Kitchen Nightmares and Restaurant Impossible, and Restaurant Stakeout. FRESH FOOD, GOOD FOOD. There are certain things you cannot do as a licensed affiliate of Fox's Pizza Den, and that's ok. Those guys made their fortune doing things their way, and I don't have a problem with following their rules while I'm working for a franchisee. That said, I feel like they could do some things differently to allow franchises to be more competitive and profitable. The way we have to buy our sauce and our dough really hurts us. I suppose it wouldn't matter if our owners had a few Fox's stores, and maybe that's what corporate wants. Also, who knew boxes were so fricken expensive? WOW! It's just cardboard!
I could complain about money, but the reality is that Lindsay and I are "haves" not "have nots." Yeah, that includes debt up to our ears, and maybe corporations aren't really amking it easier for me to get out of debt, but I got there myself in the first place. I overextended to get the shit that I wanted, and now I have it. I'm not poor, I have too many bills, and I racked them up myself. I have to deal with that like an adult and get myself out of some of that debt. Well, that or we could rent for the rest of our lives. Seems legit.
I know I'm intelligent, but I need to be smart. I've proclaimed myself to be the jack of all asses before, which is an obvious play on a colloquialism. But I should be a jack of all trades. It sucks when you have to pay other people to do stuff you could do yourself with a little more knowledge, like working on your car. I don't want to be a mechanic, but I ought to both know how to do more stuff and be willing to do it. It's ridiculously easy to change your own oil, but I don't do it. I need new brakes, rotors, and bearings because I drive like a maniac. I bought the brakes and rotors already, but I need to put them on! Quit being lazy, quit playing Skyrim all the time (actually, I haven't been doing that much lately), do something CONSTRUCTIVE! That's the one lesson I learned from Dori's dad that I remember clearly:
We were in Alabama for the summer. Jay was in the National Guard at Fort Rucker, and mom was getting ready to have Dori. Since I wasn't in school, we flew down to Alabama
so Jay could be around when Dori was born (plus I think it was free, military base and all). Anyway I was playing with some kids at a day care, and as he came to get me from it, I toppled over some other kid's block creation. Instead of beating my ass and locking me in the cupboard (as an example, that never happened), he explained to me that that action was destructive, and that I should strive for my actions to be constructive. I bet he doesn't remember that. That's how perspective goes.
Speaking of perspective, maybe it's because I have a pretty good memory (when I want to), but I notice that I tend to glorify my interactions with people, and that no one I know has as fond a memory of me as I do of them, or that their fondest memories are ones I don't remember at all! Or that for some reason, Jeff seems to think of how I bombed his best man speech differently than I do. If I were him, I probably wouldn't talk to me anymore. I thought it was that bad. But he remembers what happened at my first wedding differently than how I remember it. Actually, with the exception of bringing it up to give him shit, I don't even care about it. It wasn't the smartest thing to do, but whatever. I guess I have a lot more things about that day to remember that are worse.
Just for reference, this is what half a bottle of Manischewitz blackberry wine will do to you ;) I'm off tomorrow, and I have big plans for me and Lindsay! She really is awesome, the best, MY BEST! I love you Lindsay, happy birthday!!!